Five guys,A Girl, and The Burrow
by PsychoCrazyEstrellasKittie
Summary: This is taking place as though my first fic, New Girl, never exsisted, because I loved book 4...sooooo much!
1. Default Chapter Title

A/n: Okay, so, I know I SHOULD be finishing Hermione and the Time Rift. But...Book 4 intrigued me! Contains spoilers, so this fic is a no-no if you haven't read Goblet of Fire.  
  
"HARRY!" yelled Uncle Vernon, stomping into the Dursley's living room. He held out an envelope with 13 stamps on it. "Don't tell me this is from that fat woman again!"  
  
"I...uh," stuttered Harry.  
  
Uncle Vernon. He began:  
  
"Dear Mr/ Mrs. Dursley  
  
I was appaled when my husband told me you didn't want Harry as a child. Really, what kind of people are you?!!!! But, I'm giving you an offer. Will you allow my family to adopt Harry? I'm sure, of course, that deep down, you have his best interests in mind, and will you please consider it?  
  
Molly Weasley."  
  
Harry could feel his spirits gathering.  
  
"Well?" Harry asked, waiting for an answer.  
  
"Hmmm... these the folk the go about ruining our fireplace?"  
  
"Errr...yeah," said Harry. "But they'll come a different way this time, I promise!"  
  
"No!" cried Uncle Vernon. "Absolutely not!"  
  
"Okay," sighed Harry. "Then I reckon Voldemort will be coming 'round here."  
  
"What sort of rubbish are you talking about, boy?!" exclaimed Uncle Vernon.  
  
"Well, you see, that guy, who killed my parents, the evil wizard...he's back. And he'll be coming around here, wanting to kill me. And he despises mug- errr...normal people."  
  
Uncle Vernon's face went green. A strangled voice came out of his throat.  
  
"G-go on then," he muttered. "Pack your bags. An-and send them a letter...make sure they get here soon."  
  
Harry bounded upstairs and packed everything in sight. He scribbled a quick message to the Weasley family, and tied it to Hedwig's leg.   
  
"Go on!" exclaimed Harry. "And get it there as quick as possible!"  
  
a/n Okay, the first part's short, but it'll be longer next time, I promise. 


	2. Default Chapter Title

Harry-  
  
Mum's gonna come by and pick you up Tuesday at 6:30 ("Tonight!" Harry thought) by a Portkey Dad set up. I guess she's gonna end in your room or something. I think Ginny's upset, because she can't marry a guy who's practically a brother, haha! Anyway, Mum'll get back apparating, she'll bring you with her. Percy still hasn't found a house, so you'll be sleeping in my room, at least for another year. See you Tuesday!  
  
- Ron  
  
P.S. You might want to improve your handwriting. Last time I thought the letter was from a guy named Hamy.  
  
  
Ron-  
  
Thanks for the advice. Although it hardly looks like Hamy. Tuesday is tonight! This is really awesome, no more Dudley! Thanks, I'll see you tonight!  
  
-Harry  
  
***  
  
Harry paced around his room at 6:30. His aunt, uncle, a cousin were hiding in the kitchen. All, of a sudden, Mrs. Weasley appeared before him.  
  
"Hello, dear!" she exclaimed, and gave him a hug. He got a little dizzy, and found when he broke away, he was in front of The Burrow.  
  
"Now, don't worry, I'm going back to get your things!" said Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"WUZZUP!!!!!!!!!!!" Fred came running out of the house. "Dad got a fellyvision, and there's this beer commercial...anyway, it's really cool! The people move and stuff. Muggle stuff is amazing!" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "That money is REALLY coming in handy. Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes are on the market now! In Zonko's! We're making a fortune!"  
  
Harry smiled. "Glad to hear it."  
  
Ron came running out next.  
  
"Hey! Guess what? You'll never guess who just sent me an owl!!!"  
  
"Umm...Fluer?" Harry asked.  
  
"I wish...Malfoy!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, started some crap about how his father thought I was rude to him last year or something..." Ron trailed off.  
  
All of a sudden, Severus Snape appeared before them, holding a very muddy Reebok shoe.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!!" Snape screamed. "WEASLEY! POTTER! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING ME TO MALFOY'S HOUSE!!!!!!!"  
  
"Good, because the first wives club is not being held here," sneered Fred.  
  
"TEN POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!!!!!!" Snape shrieked. "I mean...ummm...Weasley, detention...I mean...urrggghhh!"  
  
And he apparated off.  
  
"I say, what a disturbed man!" barked Mr.Weasley, who had come outside.  
  
"He's on Prozac," said Ron innocently.  
  
"Pr-prozac?" stuttered Mr. Weasley. "What's that?"  
  
"It's a muggle medicine for the mentally disturbed," replied Harry.  
  
"Oh...come on, come inside, I'm going to cook something," said Mr. Weasley.  
  
"He's going to ATTEMPT to cook," muttered Fred.  
  
Harry walked through the door to his new home.  
  
a/n: This was extremely stupid. The next part won't be funny. Ah. Did anyone notice that Harry's signature looked like Hamy in the 4th book? Or is it just me?  



	3. Default Chapter Title

a/n ::sighs:: more stupidity. Sorry it took so long to get this up. I've been on a Fanfiction authors vacation. (Can you just picture me in paradise?) Actually, I was at band camp. Really. And I play the flute too. Yep. Anyways, on with my stupidness.  
  
Harry watched Mr. Weasley dash through the house.  
  
"Why must you leave, Arthur?" asked Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Trouble at the ministry," he replied. "Severus Snape wasn't the last to be enchanted with dreads. So was Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and many others."  
  
"Could it be You-Know-Who?" questioned Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"No," replied Mr. Weasley. "He's been enchanted too!"  
  
"That witch can't get our children, Arthur!" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley. "Imagine, our children, with DREADS!"  
  
Mr. Weasley sighed. "Yes, I know."  
  
a/n short, stupid, but I have to go, this is just the layout for the next part.


	4. Default Chapter Title

  
Harry stepped through the door into his new, temporary bedroom he was sharing with Ron. He walked over to a stack of letters piled very high.   
  
"Who wrote these?" Harry asked.  
  
"No one," said Ron, blushing.  
  
Harry opened one.  
  
"Dear Fleur,-"  
  
"No, no, don't read it!!!!!!!!" cried Ron.  
  
Harry looked at the front of the envelope. Return to Sender was written all over it.  
  
"Oh, sorry Ron," said Harry.  
  
"I don't need your sympathy," snapped Ron. "I don't even suppose you've written to Cho, have you?"  
  
"Errr...no," said Harry.   
  
"Anyway, I'm over Fleur," said Ron, waving his hands. "Half those letters aren't Fleur's 'Return To Sender' letters." Ron made a mad dash for the letters, grabbed them, grabbed a small safe on his bureau, twisted a quick combination, and shoved them in there.  
  
Harry gave Ron a questionable stare and laughed. "Oookayyy..."  
  
"Anyway," began Ron, "Your birthday's in 17 days. Do you feel joyious?"  
  
"No," said Harry. "Not really. 15's not much different from 14, is it?"  
  
Ron's eyes lit up. "Yeah, it is, I mean, when you're 15, you can get a job at Magical Menagarie. And they pay 5 galleons an _hour_."  
  
"Well, your birthday already came and went, what're you waiting for?" asked Harry.  
  
"Mum doesn't want to bring me there 5 days a week. Oh well," said Ron, sighing.  
  
Ron and Harry ran downstairs. All of a sudden, a head appeared in the fireplace. It was Snape, again.  
  
"Bah! Where's your father, Weasley?"  
  
"He's out," said Ron shortly.  
  
"EURGHHHH!!!" cried Snape. "Some witch ran by and gave me dreadlocks! There's bugs in my hair! Misuse of Muggle Things, I say! " He groaned. "Misuse of Hairspray! I may get fired! And it's all YOUR fault! They think I'm going to influence my students to get dreads!!!"  
  
Ron burst into silent giggles. Harry offered:  
  
"Well, no one likes you much, right? Just tell them that!"  
  
"Potter, shut up!!" Snape turned around. "Ooo...cream filling...Hostess! That's the stuff!"  
He disappeared.  
  
Harry and Ron where laughing so hard they were crying. Harry asked:  
  
"Does stuff like this always happen at your house?"  
  
"Yep," answered Ron, grinning.  
  
a/n That was completely, _udder_ly(wink, wink! I love cows!) stupid. If you thought that was funny, you're my new best friend.  
  



	5. Default Chapter Title

a/n Yay! Okay, here it is...Will one of our favorite characters possibly be enchanted with dreads? I'm feeling really stupid right now...obviously it has an affect on my fics. I'm listening to my mp3s...I'm soooooooooo glad Napster didn't close!  
  
  
Harry ran down the stairs of the Burrow. Today was the day he was going back to school. He met Ron on the landing, and went downstairs. As they passes Percy's room they heard laughter, and then ," I will rule the world with my cauldrens!!!!"  
  
Ron shook his head sadly. "All the hours are getting to him."  
  
They ran the rest of the way down. Ginny, Fred, and George were already there.  
  
"Come on, now, we need to get going, our ride will be here any moment," said Mrs. Weasley. Harry saw that she had a pin on that said MAD.  
  
"Are you mad, mum?" asked Ron.  
  
"No," said Mrs. Weasley with a frown, "It's Mothers Against Dreads."  
  
Fred and George laughed.  
  
"It's not funny!" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley. "Be careful this year!"  
  
"Okay, mum," said George, trying his hardest to keep a straight face.  
  
"Lets go, that should be them," said Mrs. Weasley, and everybody followed them.  
  
"A taxi, Mrs. Weasley?" asked Harry.  
  
"Yes," she replied. "The driver's a muggle, but..."  
  
They all got in.   
  
"To Kings Cross," Mrs. Weasley.  
  
"Wow!" exclaimed Ron. "Dragon hide seats!"  
  
"That would be leather, actually, " said the driver, who sounded female, but Harry didn't know, he really couldn't see his/ her face.  
  
They finally arrived at Kings Cross station, with Ron making comments similar to his previous the whole way. The driver whirled around and grabbed a wand. She pointed it at George.  
  
"DREADIUS LOCKIUS!!!!"  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Mrs. Weasley, as Harry and the others rushed to get out, George now had dreads.  
  
They ran into the station, Mrs. Weasley sobbing.  
  
"Go, go, get on the train! Run through the barrier, don't let the witch get to the rest of you!!!!" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley.  
  
Harry sighed. "Come on, lets go..."  
  
a/n Yay! Ummm....disclaimer...yeah, I don't own this brilliance, my mind is far two subtle for such a idea. I just own the plot, loosley, and the evil witch, and the spell dreadius lockius. Remember, never again be scared of Adarva Kadavra. he most frightening spell of all is Dreadius Lockius.  
  
  



	6. Default Chapter Title

a/n The last part of a stupid fic. Thanks to all those who gave my compliments on this fic:Doctor Cornelius, Nemo, Lannakah, FyFy, lobstergirl, Haruka, Lady Norbert, Kammie, pigwidgeon, Onion, Chibi-Chan, lillyanna*, I love john linnel!!, Sweet Tooth, Crazy Poet, Veralidaine, and anyone I forgot! Thanx you guys soooo much! Note to Crazy Poet: Dreads are dreadlocks.  
  
On the train to Hogwarts, Harry saw many students with dreads, some stuffing them under hats, other just staring off in shock. He felt so bad for them. "They might as well peirce their tongues and join the circus," he thought.  
  
When they arrived at Hogwarts, they saw Dumbledore with dreads. He was okay about it, reaching up to touch his hair every once in a while, his peircing eyes hazing over. He cleared his throat.  
  
"No announcements. Any extra-curricular activies, like Quidditch, are cancelled until this madness stops. You are dismissed to your dormitories."  
  
All of a sudden, the evil dreadlock came through the Dining Hall, madly laughing.  
  
"DREADIUS LOCKIUS!!!!" she cried, pointing her wand at Malfoy.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Dumbledore rushed foward and pulled down the witch's cloak.  
  
"Narcissa Malfoy?"  
  
"I admit it!," Mrs. Malfoy sobbed, " I'll set them all right! SUIKCOL SUIDAERD!"  
  
Everyone who had dreadlocks was now bald.  
  
"Ermmm..." said Mrs. Malfoy, "ASPAWIGGAM!!!"  
  
Everyone who was bald now had wigs.  
  
Then, the WMH(Wizarding Mental Hospital) people came out, put a measuring tape around Mrs. Malfoy, and pruduced a straightjacket her exact size. They dragged her out of the dining hall.  
  
Then, Voldemort came in. He still had dreads because the spell couldn't do anything, he normally WAS bald anyway. He collapsed and died, seeing that he was the only one with dreads.  
  
Everyone in the world, even those who choose to have dreads was now bald, cept' Voldie, who was lying dead on the floor.   
  
  
  
Epilogue  
  
Harry grew up to put memory charms on muggles trying to get dreads.  
  
The End.  
  
a/n Yay! STUPIDNESS! Um...I went to an amusement park today. I think I'm still on the Turkish Twist. (Floor drops, stick against wall by gravity) Um...I'm listening to Kryptonite right now. This song soooo reminds of Voldie! The next fic will be serious. SERIOUSLY! I was just trying my part in the world of stupidity.  
  
  
  
  



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